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句子清晰及構詞 A workshop brought to you by the Purdue University Writing Lab 句子清晰：我們為何要考量句子的清晰？ • 與讀者進行有效的溝通 • 使寫作用有說服力 • 展現出寫作者的可用度及威信 一般句子清晰問題 • 錯置修飾詞 • 追求修飾語 • 被動語態 錯置修飾詞 • 修飾詞及修飾子句距離被修詞的對象太遠，以致於讓讀者混淆 • 思考下列句子的差異： 樹下的狗咬凱利。 The dog under the tree bit Carrie. vs. 狗在樹下咬凱利。The dog bit Carrie under the tree. • 有時錯置修飾詞會造成令人發笑的結果： 前些日子我穿我的睡衣褲射擊一頭象。我從來不知它如何進去我的睡衣褲. The other day I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. -- Groucho Marx 如何更正以下的句子？ 珍妮弗叫她可愛的小貓打開鮪魚罐頭並將罐頭內容放在碗裏。 Jennifer called her adorable kitten opening the can of tuna and filled the food bowl. 較好的寫法: 珍妮弗打開鮪魚罐頭將罐頭內容放在碗裏並叫她可愛的小貓。 Opening the can of tuna, Jennifer called her adorable kitten and filled the food bowl. 如何更正以下的句子？ 波第亞衝進裝滿現金的商店買生日禮物。 Portia rushed to the store loaded with cash to buy the birthday gift. 較好的寫法: 波第亞裝滿現金的衝進商店買生日禮物。 Portia, loaded with cash, rushed to the store to buy the birthday gift. 有些一個字的修飾詞容易造成誤解 almost just nearly simply 幾乎 剛好 差不多 簡單地 even hardly merely only 甚至 幾乎不 僅僅 只有 如何更正以下的句子？ 幾乎班上的人都通過微積分考試。 Almost everyone in the class passed the calculus exam. 班上每個人幾乎通過微積分考試。 Everyone in the class almost passed the calculus exam. 那個句子才是說明班上的人都沒有通過考試呢？ 如何更正以下的句子？ 約翰幾乎賺了100元。 John nearly earned $100. 約翰賺了將近100元。 John earned nearly $100. 那一個句子說明約翰賺了些錢呢？ Dangling modifiers 一個字或片語不能在句子中清楚的修飾欲修飾的字或片語 • 通常發生在句子的開始或結尾 • 通常出現在 -ing verb 或 a to + verb 片詞 Dangling modifiers 用完餐後關掉美式足球比賽節目。 Having finished dinner, the football game was turned on. 喬伊用完餐後關掉美式足球比賽節目。 Having finished dinner, Joe turned on the football game. Dangling modifiers 可修正如下: • 將修飾主詞的子句當成獨立的子句: 喬伊用完餐後關掉美式足球比賽節目。 Having finished dinner, Joe turned on the football game. • 將欲修飾的主詞放在dangling phrase 句子內 : 喬伊用完餐後，他關掉美式足球比賽節目。 After Joe finished dinner, he turned on the football game. 如何更正以下的句子？ 玩了三個小時的電腦玩牌遊戲，麥克的文章尚未完成。 Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael's paper was not completed. 較佳的寫法: 玩了三個小時的電腦玩牌遊戲，麥克尚未完成他的文章。 Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael did not complete his paper. 較佳的寫法: 因為麥克玩了三個小時的電腦玩牌遊戲，所以還沒完成他的文章。 Because Michael played solitaire on the computer for three hours, he did not complete his paper. 如何更正以下的句子？ 鎖在舊櫃中，理查被古董帽感到驚訝。 Locked away in the old chest, Richard was surprised by the antique hats. 較佳的寫法: 鎖在舊櫃中的古董帽，讓理查感到驚訝。 Locked away in the old chest, the antique hats surprised Richard. 較佳的寫法: 鎖在舊櫃中的古董帽，讓理查感到驚訝。 The antique hats locked away in the old chest surprised Richard. 如何更正以下的句子？ 為了成為一名貸款員，財務規畫的教育需被要求。 To work as a loan officer, an education in financial planning is required. 較佳的寫法: 為了成為一名貸款員，則需接受財務規畫的教育。 To work as a loan officer, one is required to have an education in financial planning. 如何更正以下的句子？ 科學家仍需不斷的修正程序，他們在找尋較有效的化學治療方法。 Being a process that still needs to be refined, scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment. 較佳的寫法: 科學家正在找尋較有效的化學治療方法，而這方法仍需不斷的修正才可得到。 Scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment, a process that still needs to be refined. 被動詞態 • 表明什麼正在接收行動而不是解釋誰正在做動作 • two indicators • "to be" verbs—is, are, was, were Examples: 錯誤被犯。Mistakes were made. 貓被羅拉刷毛。The cats were brushed by Laura. 如何更正以下的句子？ 被委員會達成決議的是延遲投票。 The decision that was reached by the committee was to postpone the vote. 較佳的寫法: 委員會達成決議，決定延遲投票。 The committee reached the decision to postpone the vote. 最好的寫法: 委員會決定延遲投票。 The committee decided to postpone the vote. 如何更正以下的句子？ 電腦的磁碟機被電波損壞。 The disk drive of the computer was damaged by the electrical surge. 較佳的寫法: 電波損壞電腦的磁碟機。 The electrical surge damaged the disk drive of the computer. 最好的寫法: 電波損壞電腦的磁碟機。 The electrical surge damaged the computer's disk drive. 句子結合 為何需知道句子結合? • 更清晰 • 避免冗長 • 避免重複 句子結合的要點: • 建立形容詞 • 建立適當修飾子句 • 去除不必要或重複的子句 思考下列的段落:
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